Emo down down down =(

在 utar 读书以来，从来没有这么down 过..
今天整个人就是差不多飚泪的那种..

早上因为biochem experiment 的时候
这次是真的不满了，
因为我组在不久之前加多了一位member
她是 jestrine ...
Jestrine ， 如果你可以看到我写什么
请不要责怪我针对你一个人...
我并没有针对你，只是你的作风让我们不满了...
为什么你总是认为你的做法是对的？
是的，没错...我不能否认你曾经做过一样的实验
可是你确定以前跟现在的做法就真的一样吗？
你总是认为你做过，所以就是对的...
可是我们也才 sem 1 而已，难道你就不能听我们的一些吗？

曾经，我们想过跟你开口，要求你去别一组
可是到最后我们却没有这样做
原因是我们想平静过完这个sem
你又明白了吗？
不要总是觉得你的意见我们要遵从
我们也想自己做，你知道吗...

今天在实验室实在是丢脸
很多朋友们都看到了
而且也只有我们这一组延迟...
问题出现在哪里？
我们又有真正去想过吗？
没有对吧...
我没有一直帮着 qian fei ....
我们大家都有错
错在哪里大家心里知道...

谢谢实验室里朋友们的关心
实验完毕出来之后，
朋友们总是对我说
: " Cool down , is okay , 2 more experiments only "
对我来说，这样就够了
你们简单的安慰真的帮助了我很多...
实验室里差不多要流眼泪了
眼泪一直在眼睛里打滚...
那种尴尬的场面真的是第一次遇到
从来就没有这么尴尬过...

谢谢 kai chien
一直在身边跟我讲话
不然我真的会流泪了...

谢谢 yee rui
一直告诉我要放开
一直告诉我不要emo
谢谢你，我也忍到回家才emo

Dear， 谢谢你慰问的电话
接到你的电话时真的很想大哭一场
可是因为那时在pasar malam
所以一直往着天空
告诉自己不能流泪
我做到了...

现在手在键盘上动
眼泪才不听使唤的掉下来
也许你们不了解为什么为了一些小事要流泪
可是在我心目中
大家不能和平的相处
比任何事情还要悲哀...
我宁愿和平也不要竞争...

希望大家下次能做好自己的本分
包括我自己...

希望大家努力完成
这个 sem 的所有 experiments ..

谢谢。

I wan u stay beside me ...

Dear , where r u ...
Can stay beside me forever ?
This is a emo question
i will ask my dear everytime ...

Today sms my dear ,
said that " I m no mood le "
actually because of some small case
so leading me into emo state
But anyway , i m fine now =)
I recover from emo very fast
Haha ...
Dear also laugh me ... ^^

That day dear sit beside me
n ask me a few questions ..

[ Y u wan to be so stress ? ]
[ Where i go stress ,
hmmm...Maybe i think that i
not good enuf gua ,
Coz i feel that i very lame in class ,
not as secondary school ]

[ Because u r not top student anymore? ]
[ Ya , maybe ...I feel that i very lousy ]

[ This means that 一山还比一山高 ]
[ Ya , i agree this statement now ]

[ But anyway , juz try ur best to do it , k]
[ Okay , i will try my best to achieve target]
[ Yup]

* Touch my head gently *

[ Dear , y u wont feel jealous when i interact wif other gals]
[Hmmm, u wan me to be jealous ? ]
[ Nope , juz simply asking about it ]
[ Ooo...coz i believe u wont betray me , right ?]
[ Hmmm , sure lor ]
[ Ya , tat's good ..so y i need to be jealous ?]
[ Haha , is a good and confidence answer ]
[ Ya , maybe ...But i hope my dear can oways stay beside me ]
[ Y , i tot u are a independent girl ]
[ Ya , but sometime really need help ]
[ U think i m god can help u anytime ?]
[ No , but at least u will console me ]
[ Hmmm , hope so =) ]

[ Dear , can u feel 安全感 when u with me ]
[ Still ok lor ]
[ y u so palter about it ?]
[ What answer u expect ]
[ I dun know ]
[ so is okay lar , i have confidence towards myself ]
[ What i wan 2 say is ,
i only can give u 50% 安全感，
another 50% is u give for urself ]
[ Ok lorrr ]
[ U r a bad girl , keep palter me ]
[ Yala yala , haha =) ]

[ I wan go sleep lor , bye ]
[ Go lar , later i help u cover blanket ]
[ Blek , no need coz i dun wan open air-corn ]
[ Y ]
[ Coz i wan protect our earth , haha ]

Actually is i ad get used of it stay at kampar , no air-corn..

[ Hmmm, ok lor ]
[ Okay ..2moro dun wake me up , pls ~ ]
[ Ok ...i wan sleep too]
[ Nitezz]
[ Nitezz ]

Actually some questions i dun know
how 2 give an accurate answer to him

BUT

wat i m sure is ...

I HOPE MY DEAR CAN STAY BESIDE ME

ALL THE TIME ...

身边的爱 ♥

上星期跟dear 大吵一架，
可是这次例外
因为我竟然不会流眼泪...
第一次觉得自己变无情了...

我已经忘记我们是什么原因而吵起
好像是因为我的生活
跟他的生活吧...
我只记得我说了一些话

[ 我放手好吗，我真的累了，我不要爱了]
[ 你真的就是这么的忍心吗]
[ 放手不代表我不爱了，是不想爱了]
[ 你在这种时候说的是气话吧]
[ 我不知道，我累了，我感受不到你的关心跟爱了]
[ 感受不到 ！ 要怎样才可以感受]
[ 我不知道 ]

他已经流下了一滴眼泪
这是我第一次看见我 Dear 会掉眼泪

[ 好吧，你都决定了，我不想勉强你]
.....
[ 最后一夜我让你想，如果你觉得你还是要离开
， 你就离开吧...]

[ 不用理他，进了我的梦乡]

其实我根本就没有要离开他的意思
是每次争吵弄到我很疲惫
我讨厌吵架
我喜欢平静的生活...

第二天，他进我的房间
拉着我的手，告诉我...

[ 对不起我的宝贝，这次我过分了，
原谅我好不好，我会让你知道我付出了 多少，
我会让你看见我的努力]


我抱着他，告诉他
[ Dear ，不管未来发生什么事，
我说过 我不会再离开你，
你相信我好吗， 我们一起努力吧...]

我们笑了，总算雨过天晴了 ，

谢谢你，我身边永远的爱.....

♥

Bestie ...

Next week have nutrition test
But i still back hometown
coz i really boring and stress at there
But i feel very very HAPPY this time
coz i hang out wif my dearest friends ...
Jia Fang , Irvon n Chia Yee ...
Since secondary school, we r best friends
We chat a lot and a lot...
We plan to having mcdonald only at that day..
But i suddenly said that i wish to watch movie
So we suggest that we off to Jusco Tebrau
After that , we face some small problems :
1st : Chia yee need to skip her tuition class ,
so she call her mother at that time..
. Finally her mother agree about that , Thx Auntie ^^

2nd : We plan that irvon bought us to Jusco
but after that her bro need 2 use car so she call me 2 drive,
Hmm..this is the 1st time i drive to jusco wif friends ,
Luckily we arrive jusco safely

3rd : after i fetch jia fang back to her hse
,we cant find the road to back kulai...
But finally depends on our " clever ",
we find the road come out ..Yippy ^^


Have a lot of funs wif them
Watch 3D descipable me
This is a nice movie , introduce to u all..
Very funny and duration is only 1hr 30 mins
After that we shift to harris ,
Jia fang need 2 buy PA reference book
But she cant find any suitable book..
But chia yee buy a beautiful water bottle...
After that we solve our dinner at pizza hut
We taking photos at there n chat a lot ...
We wash 2 photos as memories...
I love those photos so much..
After settle everything, we go back on 8pm
After fetch jia fang back home , we back Kulai..
I reach Kulai almost 9pm
coz i din drive very fast
n i need 2 fetch them back safely...

Here i got some words to my best friends :
我们从中学就认识，关系一直都不错
虽然我们可能曾经争吵过，不爽对方
可是最后我们还是战胜了一切，友谊还是存在
我们一起疯狂过，一起面对考试
一起出门逛街，很多的一起...
虽然我跟你们在不同的地方求学
虽然我们不能时常见面，
可是我们都知道，我们的心里还是有这么一个朋友
虽然我上了大学
可是怎么说，大学朋友的感觉总是跟你们不一样
跟你们在一起，我能卸下心房，
用最真诚不过的心互相对待...
不用担心我们之间会互相怀疑，
不用担心我们之间会互相嘲笑，
不用担心会把所谓的秘密说出去...
这让我跟你们在一起真的很轻松， 很快乐...
你们不要一直说谢谢
sms 给我说 :“ 谢谢你载我们"
我们之间何必那么客气，
享受过程，快乐才是最重要的...
很庆幸我的朋友都有了另一半
可是我们在一起时总不会把另一半带出来
一直把话题绕在另一半的身上...
很感恩，因为这证明了友谊在你们的心中还是一样重要
昨天见面之前，心就一直一直扑通扑通的跳
因为怕这么久了没见面会生疏
哈哈，最后还是不会，反而千言万语说不完...

我的姐妹们 : 嘉芳， chia yee ,
irvon and A jiiii
我祝福你们生活愉快，
不要去想一些不开心的事
STPM 靠近了，要努力，要加油哦
我真的很希望你们考到好成绩哦...

最后，祝福我们的友情到永远永远...

期待下一次的outing ....
期待下一次的疯狂的时间....

Smile :D

I hope i can blogging at here everyday
coz i wan record down all incidents in 1 day..
But i think it is hard for me
coz sometime have 2 rush report
n assignment so not enuf time for me
But anyway , i will Try my best to do it..

I feel very stress in these 2 weeks
Maybe is the reason of exams
make me cant sleep well
even eat well...
My heart start to pain
I dun know y ...
But i din tell my family
coz i dun wan they worried about me

I juz sms my dear i m very stress
he reply me
" My girl , please smile ,
Everything will be ok for u ...
Please dun give up although
u r suffering a lot n stress ..
Girl , try ur best ok...dun compete
wif others , juz compete wif urself,
I believe u can do it "...

Once again , thx my dear
u r encourage me all the time
Ur encouragement make me relax

I will try my BEST in anything...

I promise ...

Tired Student Life

Recently too tired of my life
Exam all is around the corner
Reports need to pass up on submit date
So need to revise for exam
n complete those scary reports..
Speechless >.<

Nowadays spend weekend at Kampar
is okay for me..
Coz many things wait me 2 complete it
I have 2 complete my work b4 i back home
I wont feel homesick anymore ...
so i hope i wont bring many work 2 go back
Becoz i know Mummy will worried about men
My Dear will keep nagging ..

Have the feeling of collapse
Sleep at 5.30am , wake up at 10.30am
5 hrs really not enuf for me...
I can pay out anything juz becoz my studies
But i need rest too..
I wish i can sleep 20 hrs when i back hometown next week
I hope i can stay at home for 4 days
I really tired n need a peace environment for me 2 rest
But ...I think it is hard for me...
Coz i promise my dear n my friend ,
I will go out wif them ...
So planning 2 go out wif my dear on thrusday
Wif Xi on Saturday
Friday n Sunday spend my time at home
to read nutrition...
So , I wish i can follow my plan n schedule
Pls dun make any changes on my plan ,
Especially My mummy ...
I know u oways request me 2 rest
But this is not the suitable time for me 2 have a good rest
I will have a good rest during sem break...



Yesterday planning where we wan 2 go during sem break
Plan that go to Genting after final exam
So hope our wish can come true ya ...
Wish We can release our stress at there
n have a lots of fun wif my friends ^^ ！！
Take a lots of photos wif them
n chat until midnight..

Wait that day to come ....♥

Missing u ...

Dear , i miss u ...

Dun know y , suddenly miss u
Last night u call me i oledi very very tired
coz i play badminton wif my friends
Muscle very painn sleep at 11 +++ ...


Dear , 2 more exams have to going on
After exam i can back hometown lo
Even though i spend most of my time
wif family n friends ...
But i still will spend some time wif u

Promise u ...
Will spend 1 day wif u
n Saturday wif Xi...



Xi , i Miss u so much too
Happy Birthday to u ...
U are my best friend n best partner 4ever ..
Wish all ur dreams come true
n Have a blast :D
Meet u soon...!!!

Eveything is fine ....

After quarrel wif my Dear
I din talk to him almost 4 or 5 days
Hmmm...not i m bad
juz cant forgive him so easy
haha..Muz let him know i really ANGRY dis time
This few days juz reply him
Some perfunctorily word like 哦， 嗯...
When he sms me ..
Hahahaha ~

M i very bad ??
I dun think so ....
I dun wan every time tolerate wif him
I wan to be myself
I wan live wif stateliness
So i wont say sorry n compromise this time..
He oways stand high above the masses
He oways think that he is right n powerful..
As his gf...i shud follow any instruction
I dun wan ！！
I pretend nth is happened
I told myself...
If he really LOVE me
He will apologize to me
If he really LOVE me
He will lower one's head say sorry to me
If he really LOVE me
He will show out his sincerity

If he din do anything
Den shud i say bye bye to him ?
I dun know....

I Love him
But i cant let anybody control me
I love him
But i cant let him oways limited my freedom
I Love him
But i dun like he like " big man"

I cant let go off my hand...
Because I love Him as my man
Because I still can feel that he is caring about me
Because I know he only care about me
Because I know he do everything for me silently
Because I know he pay out a lot for me
Because I know he willing to use his life 2 protect me

I cant so bad to say bye bye
becoz of small matter...

Even i feel that he cant lose temper on me
But sometime i also lose temper on him too
He juz accept it silently n din rebut...
Where i shud go to search such a kind man ?
Although u r not the best in this word
But he is the best in my heart ...

He work hard 2 earn $$$
He accompany me when i back hometown
He cancel all the appointments
Juz i dun like he go out at night...
He buy a big doll for me
Although i juz simply say i like it...
He bring me 2 shopping
Juz because i say i m stress...
He wake up early in the morning
Juz because i say i wan eat dim sum...
He is a silly guy in this word
Even mummy also support him all the time
Mummy oways scold me because i lose temper
Mummy oways call me to cherish him...
Mummy oways ask me to think about his virtue
Mummy , i m ur daughter or he is ur son ??

Anyway , thnx my mummy n Dear
Both of u oways at the same boat
When i face problems ,
U all will settle for me...
What i need to do juz focus on studies...
I no need to worried about anything....

2day u phone me when i m study Anatomy
U start ur conversation ..
" Wei , y u so small gas de ..."
" Ya meh , none of ur business "
" Ok lar , what u wan me to do "
" No need , carry on ur life "
" Y i got such a small gas gf "
" Diam lar u ...i dun wan talk 2 u "
" Ok ..it's enuf , Pls dun rebut back anymore ,
I know u r angry n u r hurt ,
Sorry My dear , i not hurt u on purpose ...
That day i m buzy n frustrating ,
I hope u wont mind n dun put everything in ur heart
Sincerely , i apologize to u ...."
" Can i say i reject ? If i reject i like create difficulties to u
So since u r apologize , I accept BUt ..."
" But wat ...faster talk , i still have things to do "
" If u r impatience , u can buzz up phone now "
" U win each time "
" But i hope u can gentle next time "
" I oways gentle , juz u oways loud ur voice "
" U say again i will killing u "
" Haha , Ok lar ..come come , let me hug hug k "
" Blek , i m Kampar now "
" Silly girl girl , next week we go shopping n movie k "
" Huh ? u so free "
" Hmmm ...yup , holiday on thrusday "
" Tat's good ya ! "
" Yup , i know u sure happy about it "
" Hng , sure lar ...Since long time din go out wif u"
" Yala yala , promise u will have a nice day "
" Okay ..."
" Hmm , my girl so easy to satisfied "
" Hmm , my boy so bad oways make me angry "
" Haha , yala yala "
" Haha , ok lar , go do ur work right now "
" Ok , see u next week , wat time will reach "
" Around 3++ lar , still need ask meh "
" Okay lar , i will wait n go to fetch u, my girl "
" Okay Okay , if u din come i will kill u "
" Haha , go do revision now "
" Okay , bye .."
" Bye .."

Hmmmm
Everything is fine for me now

I love my gentle n humble baby boy

I love my baby boy from bottom of my heart

I love my boy boy since i was very young

3 years pass , but we still love each other so much
Our relationship still " hot " n stable

Dear , Trust n interact is most important in 1 relationship

What i need is Trust n Freedom
Thx for cheer me up in many times
Thnx for ur apologize
Thnx for make my heart comfortable right now

Lastly , Thnx for ur sincelery LOVE towards me..



Sinyee

2.47am....

Exam Period

I believe that now is the period of exam for all utarian
either u r in foundation or degree
For us sure...Exam is around the corner
Biochemistry mid-term is passed last saturday
Tomorrow is Anatomy paper
Next Monday is Math for Bioscience paper
n Next Wednesday is Japanese Mid-term
Time flies...half sem is passed
I prefer my degree life although it is hard n suffering
But I quite enjoy..
It is because I get know lots of friends
Even though b4 that we are less talking n communicate
But when we r in degree , we have more interact ....
Especially my assignment grpmate
Yee Rui , Kai Chien n Wei Min...
We wont argue about the assignment
We wont have a quarrel
We try our best to finish it n help each other...
Some other friends like shieu yee , Mary , Alice , Lisa....
Many many , I feel good n nice to be friend wif u all
My good friends : May May , Jue Jue n Yi Wen
I enjoy the moments when we r 2gether
I enjoy when we r having the dinner
When we go tesco 2gether to buy materials for cooking
When we go Gharny yumcha during midnight...
Those feeling n moments so nice...
Hope 2 enjoy my Campus Life
n Hope all my Friends enjoy as

----------------------------------------

These few days is keep revising n revising
Even no time 2 call my mum
Sorry my mum , I lose my temper again
Pls forgive me...
U keep asking me to rest more
I reply that I know but i really cant have more rest
Coz i cant finish all the syllabus
I wan finish my syllabus although i only sleep 5hrs in 1 day
So i promise will have a good rest when back hometown
Dun worried about me..
I m fine at here..
I will take care myself...

My Dearest Sis , Chee Chee
I know u r frustrating about ur graduate trip...
But i will support all of ur decision
n dun need unhappy about these n that
Now the most important is focus on ur trial
Still have 29 DAYS !!!
I hope u can done it well n get colourful results..
Juz try ur best , everything will be OK ...

------------------------------------------

n my DEAR
sorry about last few days
I no mood n simply scold u
I said that i dun like ppl lose temper on me
I said that i dun like u simply scold me becoz u r bz !
But at the last , is me lose temper n scold u
What u r trying 2 say is just hurt me at that time
I cant accept that u wan me study hard
So juz asking me 2 stay at Kampar study , dun wan back Hometown
I cant accept this statement at all !
U ...know that i have that type of " sick "
That type of sick is " HOMESICK "
But y u still like that !
I ad told u i will study hard for exam
After exam i wan back home for a goos rest
But u say I go back juz waste money n waste Time !
I m not a bird that stay in the cage all of time
I need freedom
Need fresh air
n Need FRESH MIND !
Pls dun oways ask me 2 stay at home
I beh tahan of that !
I hope u can understand my feeling
I hope u can understand what i try 2 say...
n I know u oways give pocket money for me 2 use
But i wan 2 say is ...
If u r willing 2 give me , PLS DUN LIMITTED MY FREEDOM
if u r unwilling 2 give me , PLS DUN GIVE ME ANYMORE
i dun need ur money
Money cant replace anything...
Include ur concern n caring !
U BUY ANYTHING THAT I WAN
BUT I WAN IS JUZ FRESH AIR n PEACE
$$ for me is not so important
U dun think u r rich so u can use $$ to LIMITTED
i wont say agree 2 u !
n The most IMPORTANT IS
PLS DUN ASK ME TO STAY AT KAMPAR FOR WHOLE SEM
THAT IS MY HOME
I CAN BACK HOME WHENEVER I M FREE !
u can go anywhere travel when u r free
i can go anywhere too when i m free !
so we r equal ! ...

Ok ...it it enuf ...
I know i m 2 aggresive toward u
But hope 2 be friendly next time ...

如果

Since long long time i din update my blog
coz buzy of my life
How 2 describe degree life ?
buzy ? tired ? stress ? happy ?
I dun know...
I juz know 1 day 24 hrs is not enuf for me...
Maybe is too buzy..
Rushing for the class
Rushing for lab reports
Rushing for assignment
Revised for exam
Many things need 2 complete in short period
sometime feel that student's life is not easy at all
Cousin oways tell that university is most enjoy
but until now still dun have that type of feeling..
Anyway , will try 2 enjoy campus life ..
___________________________________

These few days i m sick
Fever until i beh tahan d
late 2 days to be back kampar
need to chased back all the syllabus
Thx mummy for letting me stay 2 more days in jb
take care of me
bring me to doctor
Buy porridge for me
Although i oways lose my temper on u
Although i oways cry because of small matter
but u still take care of me
thank you mummy

I love u
n promise will work hard ...

❤

Dear Dear

Sorry Sorry

This paragraph i wan write in chinese
coz we argue by using chinese

老公老公
我知道你很好，你真的很好
是我的不好
是我的任性
每次惹你生气...

我每次说老公不关心我
不知道人家的痛苦
不知道人家面对的压力
不知道我很累
可是到最后我才知道原来老公的关心没说出口

那天真的受不了了，一时间就爆发了出来
在你 面前稀里哗啦的大苦大闹
你没有出声，一直让我自己闹
直到我哭完为止，你抱着我...
告诉我
“ 宝贝，闹够了吗”
“ 你累了吗....为什么不要让自己休息休息”
“ 你以为你是铁人吗，我都还没有看你停过，
你为什么要闹，你不觉得浪费力气吗...
我真的不关心你了吗，你摸着你的心说..
我如果真的不关心了，每天给你打电话吗
我如果真的不关心了，我会回来看你吗
我如果真的不关心了，会在你生病时马上带你看医生吗
我如果真的不关心了，会在你有要求的时候马上答应吗
我如果真的不关心了，谁还会在累到眼睛打不开的时候跟你说话
这么久了，我的关心你都看不见吗...
我为什么努力赚钱
你不不要好生活吗？
你不需要出门逛街吗？
你不需要买衣服买东西吗？
我又真的有拒绝过吗...
我觉得我已经很好了...
很多人都说你是龙卷风
因为你的脾气要来就来，
没有好预测...
我不知道几时得罪你，不知道几时迁就你
这样生活很辛苦，你明白吗...
我不曾背叛过你，
我会尽量答应你的要求
每次你有回来，星期六一定会出门
因为我知道你需要新鲜的空气呼吸
你不是笼中的鸟，你不能每天呆在家
这些我都能了解，你明白吗...
我知道你累了...
曾经中4 的时候，因为考试失败了，你拿不到前10 名
你好像失去了灵魂，整个人消沉了
那时候你整个人都好像傻了，
我们有多么的担心，多么的担心你不能从失败中站起来
我们想尽办法，甚至想让你看心理医生
还好，你勇敢站起来了...
加油，很多人都支持你...

The conversation above is my dear telling me
Thx my dear..
U make me comfortable now
U make my life cheerful n happy

I Love u ...

❤